[情報] LeBron James去各隊的機率
消息來源：CBS
內容：
What percentage chance does your team have of signing LeBron James
By Matt Moore | NBA writer
LeBron James is a free agent! He opted out of his contract! Everyone run
around with their heads falling off! Mass panic!
OK, now that we've played pretend, we can talk about how LeBron James isn't
going anywhere. Ken Berger of CBSSports.com has been reporting for weeks that
James would likely opt out but would also in every possible likelihood
re-sign with the Cleveland Cavaliers after they get done with all their free
agent signings, re-signings, and whatever machinations GM David Griffin has
to offer. But nothing in this world is ever really certain, is it?
So with that, we present your complete guide to your team's chances of
signing LeBron James. All percentages based on a very advanced formula of my
making them completely up off the top of my head and should be taken
seriously by no one.
Cleveland Cavaliers: 95 percent. On first glance, this seems low. It feels
much more like 99.9999 percent. After all, first and foremost, James just
went to Cleveland. If the hit from him leaving the first time was rough on
his PR -- and it was -- it would be downright catastrophic this time around.
You just can't do that to Cleveland twice. You just can't. He likes to
vacation there, he calls Northeast Ohio home. There's just no going back.
Second, the team's pretty good, to use an understatement. They just pushed
the Warriors to six games in the Finals and did so without Kyrie Irving and
Kevin Love. They play in the soft Eastern Conference and will likely only get
better this summer. Meanwhile if he were to go West he takes less money (if
he signs a long-term deal) and has to play the gauntlet year in and year out.
He also enjoys unprecedented power and control in Cleveland. James runs the
joint. Whatever he wants, he's going to get, and nowhere else will offer him
that kind of over-arching influence in everything from marketing to how the
locker room is to the roster to personnel decisions.
So why the five percent? Well, for one, if the situation played out 95 out of
100 times, there's the slightest chance that he might just not care about the
PR hit. He might feel like for his business, he needs to go to LA, that he
needs to challenge himself in the West, that he needs a fresh start. He might
decide that the Cavaliers' collective immaturity is simply too much to deal
with this late in his career. (James was frustrated with that aspect for
months this year.) Those things are really unlikely to happen. Really, very,
seriously unlikely. But the possibility does exist, so we'll leave a five
percent chance open.
That said, this list should be considered as an overall mockery of the idea
he's going anywhere else.
Miami Heat: 0.000000001 percent. You mean other than the way that Pat Riley
publicly gave him a passive-aggressive talking to last year without naming
him, or the fact that the roster has major holes and injury concerns or that
the team is screwing around with his good friend Dwyane Wade, the franchise
icon after James had gotten mad about them letting Mike Miller go? No, other
than that, I don't see any reason James returns to South Beach. Some bridges
have just been burned to ash.
Los Angeles Clippers: 1 percent. Yeah, they'd have to figure out a
sign-and-trade with DeAndre Jordan either to the Clippers or somewhere else,
and even then the math might not work. And yeah, it would be a step-down,
honestly, in terms of the long-term future potential of the franchise. But
James' best friend has always been said to be Chris Paul. Not Carmelo
Anthony, not Dwyane Wade. At least among players, his closest associate has
been said to be Paul.
James could help get Paul the ring he's been after, and Blake Griffin would
serve as the Bosh of the situation. It gives him proximity to Hollywood,
after the man has had his own cartoon show, done a dozen acting spots and
appears in a major motion picture "Trainwreck" with Amy Schumer and Bill
Hader this summer.
Sacramento Kings: .000000000000000000000000000000000000001 percent. This
would be the greatest story in the history of sports. "I decided that I felt
so bad for how they were being run, that I just had to come help. When your
neighbor's house is on fire, you don't stop to ask if they deserve to have
the fire put out" is how I would imagine the introductory press conference
goes. Vivek Ranadive makes Dan Gilbert look like Peter Holt when it comes to
exemplary NBA ownership, and if James wants to prove he can make any owner
look good, there it is. It also means moving to Sacramento, which I would
have to imagine is like the Cleveland of California.
Los Angeles Lakers: 2 percent. Yup. They have a better shot than the
Clippers, only because of how easy it would be for them to sign him. He gets
to be in LA. He gets to play with a young dynamic point guard. They have cap
space to get crazy and go sign another star if they can cram them in at a
discount like the Heat did in 2010. It's a marquee franchise. It's considered
to be well-run by players.
And beyond all that, he gets to lord it over Kobe Bryant that he brought him
back to relevance. James doesn't think like that. But it would be a nice
bonus, one would think. The weather's nice, the jerseys pop, and the
nightlife is incredible. It's not really where James is at in his life, but
hey, stranger things have happened.
New York Knicks: 0.5 percent. He gets to go save his buddy, Melo, and play
for the Zen Master. The Triangle wouldn't be the worst fit for him, and his
business exploits in New York would skyrocket. I don't know if it's possible
for him to be an even bigger star than he is now, but if he were in New York,
he would be. You resurrect the Knicks, you're a sports legend forever. You
fail, and you... well... er... oh, hey, Melo.
San Antonio Spurs: 0.5 percent. I mean, he'd have to take a paycut and he'd
have to play in the snake-infested, bat-infested, air-conditioning-less pit
of AT&T Center and deal with flashbacks to the air conditioning going out,
but hey. He gets to play in a small market, which he's fine with, with nice
hot weather, help Tim Duncan win No.6, play for Gregg Popovich, and be part
of an organization that really runs itself the right way. He and Kawhi
Leonard would form a duo of destruction for the remainder of his career,
extending the Spurs' streak of 50-win seasons into 2020 and beyond.
Phoenix Suns: 0.3 percent. He would never do this, even if he was leaving,
but man should he think about it. The Suns' training staff would get him to
play until he was 45 and he'd break every statistical record in history. Plus
he could play with his fellow-Rich-Paul-representative friend Eric Bledsoe,
and a talented roster with lots of flexibility. He could do what Barkley
never could there.
Philadelphia 76ers: 0.05 percent. I mean, he could just sit the entire season
out while they tank, collect a paycheck and live comfortably.
Brooklyn Nets: 0.05 percent. It's not every day you get to abandon your
home-state team for a second time, breaking the hearts of millions while
forcing a sign-and-trade that forces your old team to take the broken down
contract of Joe Johnson or Deron Williams as you join a team that has no
upside, limited talent and a coach that will wear you down in the post.
Sounds like a great opportunity to me.
Denver Nuggets: 0.05 percent. The Nuggets would be uninterested in signing
James as he does not have Euroleague experience.
Milwaukee Bucks: 0.05 percent. Come on, it's at least fun to think about
James, Jabari Parker, and Giannis Antetokounmpo running the floor.
Utah Jazz: 0.05 percent. Think of it this way, he'd get a bunch of Sunday off
to spend with his kids.
Portland Trail Blazers: 0.05 percent. Maybe he's just really into the
independent art scene and designer doughnuts. Or he's a big Decemberists fan.
He does like to ride his bicycle, apparently.
Dallas Mavericks: 0.01 percent. Would be worth it just to see the press
conference where James tries to play it straight and Donnie Nelson tries to
play it straight and Mark Cuban runs around the room spraying everyone with
champagne and screaming "Say my name!"
Atlanta Hawks: 0.15 percent. A smart coach, a talented roster, and he gets to
help new owner Grant Hill win a title. Also: would aggravate Pat Riley to no
end. Heck, throw the Orlando Magic on the same odds.
Chicago Bulls: 0.15 percent. Worth it just for the chance to continue in
Jordan's legacy and to see Bulls fans do a complete 180 on their opinion of
him.
"Retirement:" 0.02 percent. James loves the game. But he could take a year,
maybe two, and just rest his body. He could take up another sport, say, oh, I
don't know, baseball, and then make a dramatic return in two years...
Nah, who'd believe that could happen?
Return to home planet: "Whatever the number is when you subtract all the
numbers above from 100 percent" chance. Come on, you don't really think the
guy's human, do you?
短評或心得：
續留騎士95% 湖人2% 快艇1% 尼克&馬刺0.5%
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