Re: [KUSO] Doug Mirabelli 的一天

看板RedSox作者Qeta (Whiners are wieners.)時間17年前 (2007/05/22 03:10)推噓6(6推 0噓 0→)

留言6則, 6人參與討論串3/4 (看更多)

Doug Mirabelli's day (Doug Mirabelli的一天) --- ˙9:00 shakes off the cobwebs and gets out of bed 9:00 抖掉身上的蜘蛛網後起床 ˙9:01 lets out blistering fart and takes 90 second piss on his hands farts 5 more times 9:01 放了個響屁然後撒了泡90秒的尿 ˙9:03 drinks 3 raw eggs Rocky Balboa style and opens the fridge 9:03 學洛基吞三顆生雞蛋，然後打開冰箱 ˙9:05 take out leftovers from the Kowloon pupu platter for 3 he picked up last night 9:05 拿出昨晚吃剩的寶寶盤 (pupu platter) ˙9:15 grunts at his wife and gives hid kids 20 bucks each to leave him alone 9:15 對著老婆碎啐唸，給小孩每人20元讓他們不要來魯洨 ˙9:17 takes a dump 9:17 撇大條 ˙9:22 sings Van Halen in the shower 9:22 邊洗澡邊唱Van Halen的歌 ˙9:25 shaves and leaves his goatee 9:25 刮鬍子，留下那撮山羊鬚 ˙9:30 takes 35 vicious cuts with his bat naked in front of the mirror, screams out loud "Dougie is going deep tonight" 9:30 拿著球棒全裸站在鏡子前，大吼"Dougie is going deep tonight!" ˙9:45 puts on his cowboy boots and tight jeans and tank-top and gets ready to leave 9:45 穿上牛仔靴，緊身牛仔褲還有小背心準備出門 ˙9:50 grunts at his wife and kids and tells them he'll see them tomorrow 9:50 再次對著老婆和小孩碎碎唸，然後跟他們說明天見 ˙9:57 pulls onto Rt-1 with Led Zeppelin blaring, cuts three people off, gives the finger to all three people 9:57 邊開車邊聽Led Zeppelin鬼叫，途中攔下三人對他們比中指 ˙10:15 pulls into Fenway park, tells clubhouse parking attendant to make sure he blocks Nomar in 10:15 開進Fenway park，要停車場管理員確定他的車可以擋住Nomar的車 ˙10:16 puts the kid in a headlock and threatens the kid and his families' life if there is one scratch on his truck 10:16 尻住小孩子的頭，並恐嚇他和他的家人，不能刮到他的車 ˙10:22 walks into clubhouse and calls Nomar a homo for the first time today and 350th time this month, asks Nomar if he misses his boyfriend Lou Merloni 10:22 走進clubhouse然後罵Nomar死gay，是今天的第一次和這個月的第350次，問Nomar想不想男友Lou Merloni ˙10:27 takes a shit, leaves door open and yells at anyone who walks by 10:27 撇大條不關門，對每個走過的人哭爸哭母 ˙10:30 gives Nomar a dead leg and calls him a homo 10:30 罵Nomar死gay ˙10:33 stuffs Derek Lowe in a locker and pisses on him 10:33 把Derek Lowe塞進衣物櫃然後在他身上尿尿 ˙10:37 goes through a 10 minute hand shake with his boy Tim Wakefield 10:37 跟老魏握手10分鐘 ˙10:45 takes Pokey's headphones off and steps on them, says until he is hitting .250, no music 10:45 把Pokey Resee的耳機拿走，跟他說打擊率超過2成五以前不准聽音樂 ˙10:50 Francona walks by and Dougie cuts him off and says "Is Dougie DHing the first game " 10:50 把粉柯南攔住 "今天第一場比賽讓我打DH，客以嗎？" ˙10:51 Francona runs and hides behind Schilling 10:51 粉柯南跑走躲到Schilling背後 ˙10:55 Dougie tells Trot if he played 162 Games his numbers would look like this: 375 72 Hr's 52 Doubles 9 Singles 6 Walks 220 K'S 10:55 告訴Trot如果讓他打滿整季，他可以繳出.375, 72 Hr's, 52 Doubles, 9 Singles 6 Walks 220 K'S這樣的成績 ˙11:17 writes back response to fan's Letter "Hey Pussy, I don't wear batting gloves because they are for pussies like your boyfriend Nomar " 11:17 回信給球迷 " 嗨婊子! 我不戴打擊手套因為那是給Nomar那款死娘炮用的 " ˙11:30 Walks out to batting practice with a tank-top on 11:30 穿著小背心去打擊練習 ˙11:45 after no stretching steps into the cage, ignores the 5 bunts standard procedure 11:45 不做暖身運動直接走進打擊區，跳過應該要做的觸擊練習 ˙11:47 takes 25 cuts, hits 17 over the monster and misses the other 8 11:47 打了25球，17球飛過綠色怪物，剩下8球揮棒落空 ˙11:48 calls the batting practice pitcher a homo and tells him to go bang Nomar for mixing in a curveball after Dougie hit one onto the pike 11:48 罵餵球教練死gay,告訴餵球教練等他把球打到路上後，記得等一下摻幾顆曲球給Nomar打 ˙11:55 Tackles Nomar and gives him wedgie, calls him a pickle smoker 11:55 把Nomar壓倒，再把他內褲拉到套在頭上罵他死gay ˙12:00 Dougie's daily order of Double Chicken Parm from Joe Tecci's arrives 12:00 每天必吃的午餐"雙層巴馬乾酪烤雞"送來了 ˙12:07 Dougie finishes Chicken Parm and pours the rest of his sauce into Nomar's locker 12:07 吃飽後把剩下的醬倒到Nomar的衣物櫃 ˙12:15 Tito posts lineup, Dougie sees he is not the DH, Calls Francona a p*ssy. Francona runs behind Schilling 12:15 公佈先發名單，發現自己不是DH以後罵粉柯南婊子，粉柯南躲到Schilling背後 ˙12:25 Dougie gets naked and takes 25 swings in front of the clubhouse mirror, announcing "Dougie is going deep tonight " 12:25 全裸站在休息室鏡子前練習25下揮棒，大吼" Dougie is going deep tonight! " ˙12:45 Takes a shit, uses Nomar's 350 dollar silk shirt to wipe his ass 12:45 再撇一次大條，用Nomar350元的絲綢內衣擦屁屁 ˙1:05 game starts, Dougie tells Francona he is not going to the bullpen to warm up pitchers. Francona hides behind Schilling 1:05 比賽開始！跟粉柯南抱怨不想去牛棚陪投手熱身，粉柯南躲到Schilling背後 ˙1:25 Dougie announces he is ready to pinch hit in the bottom of the first for Nomar 1:25 Dougie說他已經準備好一局下的時候代打Nomar ˙1:45 Abe Alvarez comes in, Dougie tells him he sucks and will back at Trenton (minor league) by 7 tonight 1:45 看到Abe Alvarez走過，跑去跟他說he sucks，還有今晚七點他就會被送回去 Trenton(小聯盟)了 ˙1:55 Dougies 4 fenway frank arrive, pays with Nomar's credit card 1:55 四客fenway frank送來了，用Nomar的信用卡付帳 ˙2:15 finishes shopping with Nomar's credit card, maxed it out at Auto Zone 2:15 在Auto Zone用Nomar的信用卡買東西 ˙2:30 dozes off 2:30 睡一覺先 ˙3:30 sees they are losing and goes back to the dugout and tells whole team they suck except for him and Wakefield 3:30 醒來發現紅襪落後，跑到休息室幹譙，"全隊除了我和老魏以外，通通都是廢物！" ˙3:33 announces himself ready to pinch hit 3:33 準備好要代打 ˙4:30 sox lose game, Dougie tells Francona he should have DH'ed him, Francona runs away 4:30 紅襪輸了，跟粉柯南嘴砲應該要排他DH的... 粉柯南落荒而逃 ˙5:00 Dougie tells Nomar singles are for pussies 5:00 告訴Nomar只有娘們才打一壘安打 ˙5:30 Dougie takes Batting Practice again, refuses to bunt 5:30 再去一次打擊練習，拒絕練觸擊 ˙5:33 Dougie hit 22 pitches over the wall 11 fair, 11 foul, all pulled, he missed 15 pitches 5:33 把22球轟到牆外，11球界內11球界外，全是用拉的，其他15球揮棒落空 ˙6:00 Dougie see’s name in lineup, calls Fancona a pussy for batting him 8th. Francona hides behind Schilling 6:00 晚上的先發名單出來了，不爽被排在八棒幹譙粉柯南臭婊子，粉柯南躲到 Schilling 背後 ˙6:05 Dougie demands to bat cleanup 6:05 強烈要求想打第四棒 ˙6:25 announces that Dougie is going deep tonight 6:25 大吼"Dougie is going deep tonight！" ˙6:30 dinner arrives, 2 steaks from the Capital Grille. Dougie pours steak juice into Nomar's locker, makes Derek Lowe eat the fat 6:30 晚餐的兩塊牛排牛排送來了，把牛排醬倒進Nomar的衣物櫃，叫Lowe吃剩下的肥油 ˙6:35 Dougie gives D Lowe an atomic wedgie 6:35 把D Lowe的內褲拉起來套在頭上 ˙7:00 tells Wakefield the show some balls tonight and don't throw anything in the dirt 7:00 叫老蝴蝶今晚投些壞球但不要暴投 ˙7:10 scoreless first. Dougie tells Francona it must be the catching 7:10 第一局沒失分，跟粉柯南炫耀是捕手的功勞 ˙7:25 Dougie tells fans in on deck circle he is going deep 7:25 在打擊準備區跟球迷喇賽說他會尻一支大的 ˙7:27 Dougie screams at pitcher, tells him he is a pussy and he is taking him deep 7:27 罵投手婊子 ˙7:30 Dougie hits bomb off the wall, coasts into second. Almost gets thrown out 7:30 幹了一發打中綠色怪物，滑進二壘的時候差點被觸殺 ˙7:31 Tells pitcher his fastball sucks. Tells shortstop and second baseman that he didn't get all of it 7:31 對投手說他的快速球實在有夠鳥，對游擊手和二壘手說你們接不到 ˙8:15 Dougie ropes a rocket to third, third baseman takes all day and still turns a double play on Dougie 8:15 打了三壘方向的強襲球，雙殺打。 ˙8:16 fans boo Dougie 8:16 被球迷噓 ˙8:17 Dougie tells family of 4 to @#%$ off and steals some kids hot dog on way to dugout 8:17 回罵球迷F*** off，回休息區的路上偷了幾個小孩的熱狗 ˙8:18 Dougie is tired and is happy he hit into a double play, he did not want to run the bases anymore 8:18 因為很累不想跑壘，所以打了雙殺打覺得很爽 ˙9:10 Dougie strikes out on inside pitch after crushing 4 foul home runs. Calls pitcher/catcher/ump all pussies 9:10 連續打了四支界外全壘打以後被一顆內角球三振，罵投手/捕手/裁判婊子 ˙9:30 9th inning. Dougie is exhausted. Walks out to the mound and calls Embree a pussy and tells him to just bring the heat. Dougie wants to get home 9:30 第九局，已經全身無力，走上投手丘告訴Embree這個婊子，投快速球就對了，想趕快回家了 ˙9:50 Dougie showers and walks around the clubhouse naked. Tells the Globe's Dan Shaugnessy and Gordon Edes to blow him 9:50 洗完澡在休息室遛鳥，叫Globe的記者Dan Shaugnessy和Gordon Edes幫他吹 ˙9:55 Dougie shaves and leaves a goatee 9:55 刮鬍子，留下那撮山羊鬚 ˙10:00 Knocks Nomar off his exercise bike. Calls him a homo singles hitter and leaves clubhouse 10:00 把Nomar從健身腳踏車上推下來，罵他是個只會打一壘安打的死gay，然後離開球場 ˙10:10 cuts off 4 redsox fans. Gives the bird to everyone near him 10:10 攔下四個紅襪迷，給他們Cocaine(bird？) ˙10:25 arrives at Kowloon Chinese Restaurant on Rt 1 10:25 到 Rt 1上的一家中國餐廳 ˙10:45 sits down at bar and digs into his pupu platter for 3 10:45 坐在吧檯吃了三盤寶寶盤 ˙12:00 stumbles home and parks truck on the front lawn, goes for a dip in his above ground pool 12:00 搖搖晃晃的回到家，把卡車停在家門前的草地上，順便在門前的小游泳池 (Above Ground Pool)裡泡個澡 ˙12:10 leaves tighty whitey's on his neighbor's windshield 12:10 把內褲晾在鄰居車子的擋風玻璃上 ˙12:15 walks into house naked and screams "who saw my bomb I hit tonight???" 12:15 光著身體走進門大吼，"有沒有看到我晚上那發大支的啊？" ˙12:30 wakes up whole neighborhood 12:30 附近鄰居全被吵醒 ˙12:45 takes 35 swings naked and orders porn 12:45 裸體揮棒35次，然後點A片來看 ˙12:55 pulls out bucket of KFC and gets ready for movie 12:55 拿出一桶肯德基外帶全家餐準備邊吃邊看A片 ˙1:15 Dougie passes out on couch 1:15 在沙發上睡死了 --- 原文的連結已經不見了，剛好之前有備份到，所以順便把它貼出來，然後補上之前Bigbra板主遺漏的是有翻錯的。感謝原翻譯BIGBRA！ -- Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that? Tommy : It's me belt, Turkish. Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers? Tommy : It's for protection. Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"? -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 211.74.162.169

推

IronChef

05/22 03:14, , 1^F

05/22 03:14, 1^F

推

adamp3

05/22 03:19, , 2^F

05/22 03:19, 2^F

※ 編輯: Qeta 來自: 211.74.162.169 (05/22 03:36)

推

waterice12

05/22 03:39, , 3^F