[笑話] 英文笑話
The Clever Dog
A dog owner claimed his pet, when given money, would go to
the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a
demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted
off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
"How much did you give him?" asked the owner.
"Five dollars."
"Well, that pxplains it. When you give him five dollars,
he goes to a movie."
---
Early Big Shopping
An offender was brought to trial before a judge. The judge
aksed him, "What is the crime you have committed?"
The offender said, "I wnet shopping too early during the
Nwe Year."
The judge said, "This is not a crime! Is there a mistake,
perhaps? So how early did you go shopping?"
He answered, "The shop was not yet open for business, and I
was already inside."
---
The Nice Wedding Gift
We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because
we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to
send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher.
Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes
because we received a card saying: Thank you very much for
the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.
---
A Bad Impression
Six people were travelling in a compartment on a train.
Five of them were quiet and well behaved, but the sixth was
a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the
other passengers.
At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy
bags. None of the other passengers helped him, but one of them
waited until the rude young man was very far away and them opened
the window and shouted to him, "You left something behind in
the compartment!" Then he closed the window again.
The young man turned around and hurried back with his two bags.
He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the
window, "What did I leace behind?" As the train began to move
again, the passenger who had called him back opened the window
and said, "A very bad impression!"
---
I do not recognize you
Walking on the beach one day he saw a crab, went to see what
happens, suddenly crab pincers folder, then crab bush sun. Tiger
jumped the pain, followed by the recovery of crabs!
Catch up with no trees on the crab, and then to see a tiger in
Shou Network spiders, tiger angry at spider: Good you a crab!
Do you think you posted on the web and I do not recognize you!
---
The Way to Keep Away Flies
There was a customer who came and asked a waiter in a cafeteria:
"Oh, tell me, Susan, how do you keep all the flies out of your
coffee shop?"
So she said: "I just let the flies taste the stuff."
---
Amnesia
A senile actress went to see a doctor. the doctor enquires,
"How old are you?"
The actress said, "Twenty-two."
So the doctor scribbled down on her case history: "Amnesia."
--
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